The First Skill my Clients Must Learn is Honesty

Why Honesty?

Simple really; because no one can see past their own self-imposed beliefs. Honesty is the antidote that awakens us after biting the magic apple per se. Belief is a powerful energy that acts as an inhibitor or an accelerator depending on its polarity. Imagine a magnet which has two separate and opposite polarities; just as the earth has the north and south poles. Magnetic attraction or magnetic repulsion are the two possible effects from a magnetic field. Very much so, the magnetic energy carried by thoughts, beliefs, and feelings attracts or repulses positive or negative energy fields depending on the individual's leading polarity.

Actively engaging in personal honesty (with self and others), has helped me transform my own polarities. A quick example has been behaving as a reactive person in my youth (unconscious action), and transforming into a mindful and conscious observer of myself. Honesty is a key principle that  defines a conscious and mindful existence. As a person strives to experience deeper levels of honesty, self-awareness begins to develop. When understood, honesty becomes the first step in the process of effective self-evaluation.

The second principle in this process is will or willingness. In my 25 years of experience with solving personal complex mental and emotional patterns, honesty and willingness highly complement each other. For me, these two qualities have successfully led me to resolve traumatic and painful experiences from my past. When applied to the present, honesty has effectively helped me (and my clients) filter-out erroneous personal tendencies. One such tendencies is to see and experience things as how we want to them to be, rather than, how they truly are. More importantly, the principles of honesty and willingness are strongly associated with the success of future goals and plans.

Self-evaluation is a unique and personalized experience. There are basic processes that delineate how human psychology is formed and reinforced. Honesty initiates the transformative process of energy polarity (positive or negative) behind psychological patterns. For example, when I engage my own energy into past (negative) response patterns, that negative response (habit) is strengthened. When I challenge the habitual (negative) response pattern, I engage in self-evaluation. At this stage is where Honesty begins to break down the outer layers of resistance (habits). Therefore, Willingness increases the momentum when self-evaluation leads us through the deeper layers of resistance holding our habit patterns in place. We must be persistent leading this process to experience breakthrough results.

Self-evaluation is a powerful process when practiced effectively. That is the main reason why accountability coaching works so well for my clients. For two decades, I've engaged my mind, emotions, and spirit in this important process: learning to see things for what they truly are! Personally, I have deeply benefitted when living from a deeper level of honesty. Here's an example. While employed by a large U.S. broadcasting corp. an upper management position was offered to me within my department. I'd been with the company for about five years, and the opportunity of experiencing and leading a new team was exciting to say the least. Yet, I felt enormous resistance to take on this new challenge. I was conflicted and confused. So, I turned to honesty and self-evaluation for answers. What became clear as I went through the steps truly swept me away. I identified the following pattern:

  • The emotional resistance (unwillingness) I felt was sustained by a cluster of limiting  beliefs.
  • These beliefs opposed my confidence, courage, and clarity, which led to confusion.
  • At the core of my resistance was the energy of the fear: Fear of Being Seen and publicly criticized.
  • Performing my best in this new job opportunity meant I would have to transform. This is the formula I developed: 

  

    • HONESTY  leads to  ➙  TRUST 

    • TRUST  leads to  ➙  COURAGE 

    • COURAGE  leads to  ➙  SELF-CONTROL 

    • SELF-CONTROL  leads to   ➙  CONFIDENCE & BELIEF IN SELF

 

This realization and formula that helped me see myself clearly, and transform the energy sustaining the magnetic field behind my fear of being seen. This new job opportunity was almost lost to me. That is the true power and value that honesty and willingness gave me: to know what held me back! What appeared initially as a complex problem was easily solved at the end. I rose to the challenge, took the job and consistently performed to deliver results because I trust myself. This simple practice prepared me to carry-on through the transformative process that comes when we begin something new.

As part of the outcome, I was openly facing any new levels of internal resistance that became clear. This experience was not only liberating to say the least, but also inspiring. As a warning, I consistently remind myself, "where I would be if I deny myself an opportunity to be and do better." Neglecting our feelings and thoughts of resistance don't make them disappear. Denial strengthens that which is denied. When we do this for many years we form a habit that works against our own potential. Core beliefs are the fuel of human habit. Holding onto to them or transforming them leaves their polarity imprinted onto everything we do.

To conclude, honesty has played a major role in leading me to overcoming the mental and emotional habits that comfortably held me back. For this reason, I start each interaction with family, and clients with intention and introspection. I do this because both require honesty that ultimately leads to confidence. This is the power of transformation and freedom I bring to everyone that I meet. Making the world a better place starts by each of us willingly and honestly transforming from the inside-out. 

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