Fifteen months ago I quit my job, and left behind a corporate all consuming life-style. I worked for one of the biggest broadcasting companies in the world. I made television programs; well, I was in the assembly chain that connected the dots which puts TV content in-front of people just like you. I was in the News division of this media giant. It was fun, it paid well, and best of all it was challenging. Here's the first conflict of this story: I was and felt comfortable, quite sure actually, and this notion made me uncomfortable. Regardless of this feeling I kept at it, you know with one's 'nose to the grinder'. Yet, one warm spring morning nearly three years ago my first-born daughter turned eleven years old. Everything did not change for me that bright sunny day; but I began to realize that the people. the food, the music, even the wind and the blue sky above clothed me not with it's usual tidings.
I was aware and felt dumbfounded at how rapidly time went by. For the past few years since that moment, this was true for me since I increasingly focused on only one narrow aspect of my life, my job. It's not accurate for me to say that I did not enjoy my family and the countless blessings it brings, but I realized that my focused attention had been elsewhere for too long. I'll explain it like this; I had two phones with me always at all times of the day or night.
This in fact aided the life-crossroads experience I was about to encounter. At that very instant, reality hit me quite hard. I'd spent the last seven years resolving countless corporate agendas; everyday, seven days a week if there was continuous breaking news coverage. I was highly effective at it, therefore, I had turned myself into a valuable asset the company's leadership kept always, let me reiterate, always in mind.
There was something different about me that breezy, and delightful spring day. As we sang and counted each year of her short existence, I suddenly became emotional and open to the idea of change. I knew at that moment that a radical shift in my life would be taking place. I spent hours that night in a sea of thoughts.
I also endured the constant outpouring of feelings which were born from the prospect of separation and making life-changing decisions. At this point in my solitude, I had to ask the question: why do I want to change the comfort of the life I've built for the discomfort of the unknown? Honestly, I was unable to answer this question at first.
I pursued relentlessly for an answer. (Yes, I was having a conversation with myself, my higher self actually), for this was an answer that my own intellect could not grapple with. The following day while I completed my usual Sunday routine, I received my answer. It was clear; my new focus and life-directives must strongly include spending 'real' time with my kids. I tell you, I was inspired by this, so I did what every husband must do in a scenario of this magnitude; I told my wife in detail the revelation I'd just experienced, and poured out my intentions to her.
After a short silence, her eyes lit up, a surge of energy filled the room as she finally said: "are you crazy? How are we going to make a living?" From sharing this experience with her came the first lesson I learned in this trans-mutative journey: that I'd been living my life from a place of FEAR. I was scared to follow my soul, therefore, I was scared to follow the path I knew since childhood would lead me to personal, spiritual, and family growth.
It was difficult work I endured while I mustered the necessary courage to move forward. But I did start moving, and therefore began to believe that feeling vulnerable as I was feeling, would eventually transcend into greater willingness to take-on the unknown. I could no longer run away from me. I knew all this would soon come to pass by my own choices. I learned from these deeper interactions with myself, that patience was being exercised in me and I foresaw glimpses of my future; I began to feel this future becoming real and tangible in my mind and in my own skin.
I soon pushed through the layers of fear, doubt, rejection, and guilt, and on a memorable Friday afternoon I left behind what I thought I valued most; my comfort zone, and my own little mundane bubble of perception...to finally embark in the journey towards myself, my family, and my future!
At this juncture I was now able to imagine and metaphorically begin to re-construct my life; I was going to use bricks of fulfillment and meaning, as I lay down a strong new foundation on the rock of service. This decision wasn't easy to reach since I am a father to four girls, and we all can perceive the impact income has on families these days. I've been married for 13 years, she is my best friend since high school; something of a modern-day love story.
There is so much I took for granted before I began this journey, and it now makes sense why I felt unsettled even though I had a steady job, income, my home, my friends, and my family near me. In fact, the warning signs were present from long before that spring day, but I was not listening or paying close attention to what guides from within. Courage is an amazing energy. I practiced and continued to go deeper than ever before so I could experience, feel, and become the vibrancy that pulsates in each one's heart. I refer to the inner heart that is. and to my soul which daringly gave all of itself, so, it would receive all of itself renewed once more.
I did not know entirely where my path would lead me and my courageous family, but I did know we'd be alright. With nothing to tie me down and an open schedule, I'd accomplish my goal of feeling free to spend as much time with my kids as I granted necessary. The second lesson I learned in this journey was that half-committed relationships do not foster growth or sustain unwavering strength in either party. The truth is my uncommitted relationship with my kids were a swift reminder of that, but now, I was different; I feel and think clearly about what really counts and matters to my heart and to my spirit. The time for living and giving half-way was finally over.
So, what happened immediately after closing the corporate chapter in my career? I did what I felt was true; I moved to another state much closer to the mountains, the sky, and the river. Since then, I became a Mastery Coach, and have launched multiple Online Ventures with the sole intention of further growing my independence and a consistent family presence. This new way of life has developed greater temperance in me, and as I continue to joyfully spend more 'real' time with my kids, it is the simple yet meaningful insights I receive through our interactions, that I appreciate the most.
My kids continually mold me and sometimes even jolt me into a deeper sense of self; of who I am, and what I'm bound and meant to do on this planet for others. Today, after reexamining closely the principles that clothed my own mind far too long, I feel a void in believing that people should be judged by how much they HAVE, which is the norm in our society. Now, I move towards a future where people are referred to by how much they GIVE.
Finally, the third lesson learned is the one I'm most grateful for. I was meant to learn it as part of a slow process which only comes to pass in small increments. Ever since I started this journey towards my kids, I consistently strive to everyday live this valuable lesson: Parenthood is much more than providing or maintaining a life-style for your family, but rather, it is the sense of daring to share and expand life in particular ways. Only the bonds of love and sacrifice can connect our hearts, which in itself is the real transformation that creates the cup we pour our future into. Connection, then, not only uplifts and nurtures every member of your inner circle, but also deeply serves all people around you; people you consider to be family and friends...and indeed, there is no greater blessing to our communities than this.